The beginning of an intimate relationship is passionate, exciting, and full of romantic gestures. The desire to keep this level of romantic love is understandable, yet unrealistic. Over time the pedestal upon which we placed our partner, and vice versa, disappear and we see each other, flaws and all. When things become comfortable and safe, we drop our façade and allow all parts of our character to become known; and this is how it should be. Once we get to this wonderful place, why do we both get so easily triggered? Why are there power struggles? These are some of the typical questions I get asked in the therapy room. Oftentimes in a relationship, there are topics that cannot be discussed without generating a heated exchange between the couple. Discussing those certain ‘heated’ topics can be done with a therapist who can help the couple facilitate a gentle conversation, which allows each partner to be heard, assisting the couple to understand the ‘why’s’ of each other’s reaction, with the goal of helping to deepen the emotional connection and strengthen the relationship.

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