The Quickest Way to Change Something About Yourself
If you’d like to know the quickest way to change...
...something about yourself then think of a previously painful and unwanted experience and evaluate what you’d like to change in regards to your behavior. How did you emotionally react? Did you get angry, sad, did you shut down, etc? For example:
1. “I don’t want to feel sad about ____ anymore.”
2. “If only I didn’t get angry…”
3. “I want to feel close to people, but I can’t seem to open up.”
Your emotion/behaviors are NOT the problem per se – the problem is in HOW you are using them. Please note that any emotion, behavior, or experience is not inherently “bad” or “good,” but that they are all useful when expressed within the appropriate context and at the appropriate time. Ready, set, go!
1. Gather information
- Identify the significant people involved
- Identify the events that are characteristic of the problem situation; specify how the problem progresses
- Specify what changes you want to make
- Identify what you have done in the past to cope with the problem, or what stops you from making the desired change
After you have gathered information, visualize yourself making the change then take action by:
- Taking baby steps
- Preparing for setbacks
- Monitoring your behaviors – try this mindfulness exercise before you go to sleep: visualize the beginning of the day and briefly and quickly close the door on every experience till you see yourself laying down in bed to start your mindfulness exercise. Do this without judgment or trying to analyze things; you’ll be surprised at what insights pop up for you the next day.
- Practice, practice, practice
- Map your success without judgement. We all tend to take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.
And most importantly, appreciate you for who you are. We all have the capacity to change and know that some things come easier than others.